Dan le Sac vs. Scroobious Pip

Thou Shalt Always Kill




Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim;

Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets;

Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barrat in vein;

Thou shalt not think that any male over 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile, some people are just nice;

Thou shalt not read NME;

Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they have become popular;

Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry;

Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover;

Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover;

Thou shalt not buy Coca Cola products;

Thou shalt not buy nestle products;

Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend bestfriend, take drugs and cheat on him;

Thou shalt not fall in love so easily;

Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls pants……use it to get into their heads;

Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks;

Thou shalt not attend an open mic and then leave as soon as you have done your shitty little poem or song you self righteous prick;



Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in & week out just because you once saw a girl there that you fancied that your never going to talk to anyway;

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were;

The Beatles. Were just a band.
Led Zeppelin. Just a band.
The Beach Boys. Just a band.
Sex Pistols. Just a band.
The Clash. Just a band.
Crass. Just a band.
Minor Threat. Just a band.
The Cure. Just a band.
The Smiths. Just a band.
Nirvana. Just a band.
The Pixies. Just a band.
Oasis. Just a band.
Radiohead. Just a band.
Bloc Party. Just a band.
Arctic Monkeys. Just a band.
The next big thing. Just a band.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries;

Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling where never part of the four elements and never will be;

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;

Thou shalt not pimp my ride;

Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster;

Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness;

Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit;
When I say “hey” thou shalt not say “ho”;

When I say “hip” thou shalt not say “hop”;

When I say, he say, she say, we say “make some noise”…..kill me;

Thou shalt not quote me happy;

Thou shalt not shake it like a Polaroid picture;

Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me;

Thou shalt spell the word phoenix : P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X regardless of what the oxford English dictionary tells you;

Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at the club last night by saying “is it?”;

Thou shalt think for yourselves;

And thou shalt ALWAYS kill.

Cross is Taking Over!

This past weekend Oregon's Alpenrose cross series saw 1,267 registered racers. That is almost unfathomable. I raced in Boulder last weekend and I think there were almost 300 people racing. I can't imagine 4 times that amount of people in one park, racing bicycles. That number does not include the number of spectators that are at the races in support of friends and family, drinking beer and trying to figure out what all the commotion is about. It is really fantastic news for the sport.

For those who don't know what cyclo-cross is, you really need to check it out in order to fully understand the chaos. You don't need to enjoy bicycle racing to be able to enjoy cyclo-cross. I think the combination of atmosphere, racers attitudes and the shorter length of races (45-60 minutes) are what makes 'cross so enjoyable for almost anyone to participate and compete. Here's a clip of Pure Sweet Hell that does a pretty good job of putting the pain and fun of 'cross into perspective: Pure Sweet Hell I have still not yet seen the full movie but this clip gives me goosebumps and really gets me excited for 'cross everytime I see it.

On a side note, I fell in love with Colorado all over again during my first 'cross weekend. At Boulder's Interlocken park race I met a former Carbondalian, Courtney Gregory who is on the Mafia Racing squad. That dude is a clown but he is gooood. I also was able to compete against an Olympian...a female Olympian who managed to kick my ass, along with 72 other dudes asses. Georgia Gould was put in the 3's race and on about the 4th lap of the race she came cruisin' up on my wheel. I let her pass, held her wheel for about a minute and then let it go and continued sucking wind for the rest of the race.

In the Men's Open race that day, Matt Pacocha, a writer for VeloNews dominated the field. He won handily. He conquered the uphill barriers with ease and made the sand pit his biotch. On Sunday, I flatted at the line-up for the 3's race and the officials let me race in the Open field. That made me feel a little nauseous since none other than Matt Pacocha was parked next to me in the lot with his $9,000 Time cyclo-cross bike. After warming up and sizing up (determining how bad each guy is gonna whoop me) all the competion I pull up to the back of the line and next to a dude in a full Garmin/Chipotle/Slipstream skinsuit. The name on his bike said, Tom Hopper. He turned to me and said, "Can you believe this is only my first race this year?" I was pretty much in the same boat but told him he'd have a pretty good shot at placing in front of me. Ah well, I was excited to race with a couple pros and just complete the full 60 minute effort. As it turns out, Matt Pacocha flatted and DNF'd (even with a full bike in the pit) and Tom Hopper is one of the Team Slipstream mechanics (but he still kicked my ass). To top it off, Katie Compton (also a CO Springs resident) raced up at the Copper Mountain Cross races this weekend in the 3's field. I'm kicking myself for not going up there.

So anyway, to sum up this blog entry, 'cross is rad and I suggest everyone go to at least one race to check it out, Colorado is awesome and I'm now a resident, I'm way out of shape from not racing this year and tomorrow I'm headed to Loveland for a ski/snowboard technician class B.S. thing. Here's about 12 seconds of pain from Boulder's 'cross race last weekend: